Ad Infinitum Book One Master of the Nine Steps Page 7

PART TWO

  From the top,

  As the path

  Traveled up

  A small hill,

  I looked back

  For a moment

  Watching

  The miles of stretching green

  "Jungles jungles running thin

  Meet the meadows

  Where hills begin"

  I chuckled out loud

  "Perhaps someday

  I will be the poet"

  I thought

  I looked forward

  Again

  To the future path—

  And the day

  Seemed brighter

  Over the hills

  Two traveling travelers

  The path upon

  Still feet clung

  Currents of wheat rippled

  Swaying in the breeze

  And sparkling dew

  In the morning sun

  No longer

  Did I attempt

  To converse

  Merely-

  I walked along

  Thinking of future ways

  And future days

  After awhile

  We turned a bend

  And there ahead

  The path divided

  Forking

  Into two

  The right was graced

  And I the left

  To travel alone

  Surprised

  She looked over,

  Across the division

  Where I was walking slowly

  Upon the path

  "*Are you leaving me?*"

  She asked

  Stopping

  I turned

  And looked at her—

  Dark brown hair

  Spilled over her shoulders

  And lay gently upon

  Her breasts

  "How much you liken the voice"

  I said

  "Always silent

  Even when speaking,

  Speaking silence"

  She clasped her hands

  In front

  "*Practice patience*"

  She said with a tone

  Of wisdom

  "How long must I practice?"

  I asked

  "How long

  Till the truths shine?"

  I looked to the fields

  And outstretched a hand

  Feeling for words

  With fingers of thought

  "I have wandered

  More fields than a rainbow

  More hills than a path

  More stones than a river

  More mountains than a cloud

  I have wandered

  More days than a sky

  I wandered

  The cities

  The worlds

  The stars

  And yet

  Still I search for the sun

  So

  Tell me not of patience"

  "*But

  We have

  Talked - communicated*"

  "No"

  I said

  "We traveled

  The same path

  Together

  But we were separated—

  A wall

  Of distance

  And still

  It is here"

  "*Come with me*"

  She responded

  With the tone

  Of an underlying question

  "*And we will . . .*"

  "No"

  I interrupted

  "Our relationship

  Has nothing to gain"

  I turned

  And walked

  Down the path

  I wasn't angry

  Really,

  But I felt

  That nothing

  Could be gained

  From the information of silence—

  Not friendship

  Nor happiness

  Nor love

  Nor the light

  Of the rising sun

  "So,

  It is best

  That we part"

  I thought

  And with clinging feet I clung

  And over hills and over hills

  All alone again I traveled

  "On with the fields of wheat

  And I shall sow this garden

  And see what grows

  Before I track the desert again

  Path of rolling hills

  Of indifference

  Sowing the garden as I go

  Now is the time of the prophecies—

  Take me to my sun

  What matters?

  Let me reap the light"

  My confidence was high

  As I walked along

  Above

  The sky was blue

  And dotted with white clouds

  Birds flew

  Circling above and

  Sailing over

  Little animals

  That scampered in the fields of wheat

  The sun was warm

  I thought again

  Of the desert prophet—

  Long white hair

  And brown wrinkled skin

  An old, old man

  Near the gates of death

  Yet a man of wisdom

  With an inner eye

  To see the paths

  Of the future

  The desert peoples

  Traveled thousands of miles

  To obtain his advice

  They would listen to his prophecies

  His philosophies

  His teachings of life

  Some would find sadness,

  Others gladness

  They would lay gifts

  At his feet

  In appreciation;

  They knew that his were the words

  Of truth

  "Yes"

  I thought

  "Words of truth

  Telling me of a garden—

  This garden

  Yielding

  The light of the rising sun"

  In anticipation

  Perhaps eagerness

  I continued

  To trail

  The day was slow

  In passing

  As I thought

  About the sun

  The prophet

  The lady

  Wild beasts and jungle

  The desert

  And other gardens—

  "And now

  The path in front—

  To what future

  Of reality

  Does it lead?"

  Like a snake

  The path continued

  Winding

  Easy

  And slow

  As it moved

  A Westerly route

  Through the hills

  Another day

  Through the night

  The morning

  A few hours more,

  Coiling the hills

  And then-

  Swaying, waving

  Becoming sparse

  Rolling from sight

  The sea of wheat

  Was gone

  Flattening out

  The hills were leveling

  Up ahead

  A path crossed mine

  I passed it by

  After walking

  Nearly half a day

  Finally

  Looking ahead

  The hills were gone

  A plain plain planed

  A vision of miles and miles and miles

  The underside of flat

  For miles and miles and miles

  I continued on

  For several days

  Searching

  The weather had changed

  No clouds in the sky

  No wind

  Not a breeze

  Not even an occasional gust

  I looked ahead,

  Watching—

  Another path crossed mine

  Upon the clinging path

  I passed it by


  The heat was stifling

  If only for a breeze

  Furthering distance

  Another day

  Ahead again

  A path crossed mine

  The sweating heat

  Burning

  Burning feet

  Another path crossed mine

  "Paths—

  Tracking

  And trailing the worlds

  Like feet in the sand

  Traveling

  Seeking a goal

  Each time

  I pass a path

  I wonder

  'Where

  Does it travel?

  And

  How would my life be changed

  If I took this path

  Instead of that?

  Indeed

  How would it be

  If I could travel

  All the paths

  Live all the lives

  Track all the tracks?'"

  Several more crossed

  At different angles

  And I passed them by

  "If I had infinite feet,

  Then would mine

  Be the knowledge of God—

  Omniscient"

  Through that day

  And through that night

  The sweating hot night

  Furthering on

  Sleep and walk

  To the dawn I went

  The breaking of day

  Broke

  To break the will

  The rising sun

  Shone through

  The beginning light

  Spread

  Accompanied by birds (but not that day)

  The cloudless sky

  Blue and pink combining

  Providing light

  Dimly seen

  Vaguely outlined

  Gradually

  The beginning day

  I looked about

  As the light intensed

  I stopped in amazement

  "Hundreds

  Thousands

  No—

  Countless

  Obscurity"

  I looked behind be

  "Where is the path

  I have walked?—

  Lost in the maze"

  Paths crossing paths crossing paths

  But where was mine?

  "From whence did I come?

  And

  Whither shall I go?"

  There was no way to tell

  Which way

  Was the way

  Crossing Crisscrossing paths

  Countless on barren land

  In all directions

  Away

  Surpassing the horizon

  Treeless

  Plantless

  Rockless ground

  Not even was the desert so barren

  I moved on—

  What else?

  "Finding the sun

  Will be just as easy here

  As any other place,

  But the heat

  Is stifling"

  As the sun broiled down

  I wandered aimless through the maze of paths

  It was my hope

  To come, eventually, to the perimeter

  Of that Hades Kingdom—

  "I will follow the path

  Of the sun"

  I thought

  "The end of this

  Confusion

  Will come"

  I wiped the sweat

  From my eyes

  And continued on

  A day passed

  And still

  The paths were countless

  On barren land

  Still

  Another day

  Passed

  As I followed the sun

  In the field of paths

  Stepping lower

  Slower

  Pushing through the waves of heat

  Almost dragging

  Stumbling upon the barren ground

  I paused

  For a moment

  Straining my eyes

  Searching ahead

  I thought

  I saw something

  Standing

  In the distance

  "Is it a mirage?"

  I wondered

  Closer

  Draggingly closer

  "My eyes are undeceiving,

  It is not a mirage

  But a figure—

  How to figure a figure

  Out here

  It is"

  I wondered who it was

  "She possibly knows

  The way out

  But possibly stranded

  Too"

  Approachingly closer

  Hoping

  My imagination

  Began to take over

  "Is it a woman?

  Do I see a dress?"

  Lifting my feet

  Through the heat

  Upon the plain of paths

  I moved quicker

  Closer

  Dismayingly closer

  "Wet sweat

  Sweet sweat

  Toiling

  In the boiling heat

  And all for naught

  Not a woman

  But a pole—

  Tall

  And wooden

  "Why a pole

  In the middle

  Of a maze?"

  Carefully

  I scrutinized,

  Observing

  Upon

  And around the pole

  There appeared to be

  Bloodstains

  Sweat dripped from my nose

  As I looked

  At the pole

  I sat on the ground

  Leaning my back against 'The empty door'

  Jutting itself insidiously

  From the trailing maze

  "Two days

  And no water—"

  I thought

  As I watched

  The sweat drip

  I was lacking

  Energy—

  Too tired

  To wipe away

  My life's blood

  "Perhaps

  The old prophet

  Saw into death—

  Maybe I shall find

  The light

  Through the infinite darkness

  Of my eyes"

  I reached up

  And unbuttoned

  My sweat soaking robe

  My hand

  Flopped again

  Down

  To the ground

  I sat

  And waited—

  For what?

  Perhaps

  To regain

  Energy

  Perhaps

  For the sun

  To go down

  Still

  I sat—

  Sitting

  Waiting

  Suffocating

  Drowsing

  Tiring . . .

  And then

  I saw it—

  At first

  Merely a haze,

  Coming closer

  Through the night

  I peered

  I strained

  For the sense

  Of it

  "Come closer

  And

  Let me see"

  Gradually

  The form

  Takes shape—

  Elegance

  And radiance

  In the rain

  I call to her,

  But then

  She turns—

  Movement in white

  Graceful strides

  The flowing silk

  The moonlit hair

  Running through the rain

  Away

  Far away

  How beautiful

  The falling rain

  How beautiful

  But oh the sadness

  The blinding blinding rain

  It has come

  It has drowned the light

&nbs
p; And the sight of your soul is gone

  To see you again

  Through the dark

  The rain

  Come

  Come back again

  Come, let us be together

  Love together

  Write together

  Yes

  Let us bend quills together

  Let it flow

  Free and rhyme

  Fiction and prose

  And to the world

  The drowning world

  The bending river shows

  But ah the sadness

  Reality:

  You are gone

  Oh my God

  My God

  My Man

  My Greatness

  My God

  You are gone

  And the rain is warm

  Warmer

  It is hot

  Running hot

  It is . . .

  Suddenly tense

  I awoke

  Wet sweat

  Running warmly

  Dripped from my nose

  Wiping the salt tears

  From my face

  I looked to the trailing maze

  Leaning forward

  I put a hand on the ground,

  Again

  The other wiped away water

  That stings the eyes

  Was I still dreaming?

  I looked

  No

  I was awake

  And they were really there

  Standing in front of me

  Tall

  Broad

  Proud

  Men and women

  Such big people

  Rings

  Bracelets

  Necklaces

  Spears and knives

  Scalps on belts

  Such little people

  But where did they come from

  Upon this maze

  Of paths?

  There were close to fifty of them

  (Including children)

  Most were expressing grins

  Of invidious plenitude

  And many seemed excitedly anxious

  Anxiously waiting

  "Who are you?"

  I asked

  But they didn't,

  Couldn't

  Answer,

  Instead

  They conversed in a strange language

  One I had never before heard

  It was guttural and primitive

  I thought

  "Perhaps they will help me"

  (But somehow I didn't think so)

  "Just a palm of water,

  Of life

  And

  A finger

  Pointing the way away

  From this maze"

  I thought

  Suddenly they stopped talking

  And two white men and a yellow

  Came cautiously

  Forward

  Toward

  In moments

  And a brief struggle

  They had me bound to the pole;

  Binding with rawhide

  And tearing the skin that covered my wrists;

  The rawhide soaked blood

  They began to dance

  In a circle

  Around myself and the pole

  Singing

  Jumping and chanting

  Running

  Yelling

  Spinning and rolling

  Such strange people

  Skins of all colors

  A large white man

  Tore a hole

  With his spear

  And ripped away my clothes—

  God

  But for a breeze

  All

  Then

  Became quiet

  But for the large white man—

  Yelling and shouting

  And jumping magnificently high

  He danced a dance of epilepsy

  Rippling muscles surged

  Taut to the bone

  Dancing to a rhythm

  Rippling

  Quivering

  Quaking

  Bulging

  And relaxing

  For others to bulge

  He continued to dance

  While the others watched

  They edged to the front of the crowd

  Getting better positions—some sitting,

  And little children peered between legs—

  And the white man continued,

  He danced for the sky

  Face upward

  Jumping

  Twisting

  Jumping

  Chanting

  Continuing

  Finally

  He finished—

  A violent finish

  Bearing down on me

  With beady eyes

  Twisting and turning

  Showing his

  Teeth

  And yelling to the heavens

  Heaving his spear

  Up and down

  Sweat rolling from his body

  Such a big man

  Up and down

  Up and down

  Such a splendid spear

  Beaming reflections

  Reflecting

  Bright light

  From the hot, cold steel point

  Such a skillful spear

  Accurate

  Deft

  Such a violent finish

  With a skillful spear

  He wounded my side

  The spear parted skin

  Easily

  Being sharp

  Slicing bowels

  And puncturing organs—

  The spear rended

  And withdrew

  The anguish and blood

  Tearing my brain

  Borning my death

  When the morning

  Was gone

  My eyes

  Would grow dark

  With the night

  Ah the anguish,

  But the warm blood

  Was cool

  Running on burning skin

  In the heat

  Of the day

  They all rose,

  Again he danced

  This time,

  Time

  A longer dance

  Perhaps waiting

  For the morning to pass

  But

  Forthwith

  He drew a knife

  Glinting

  And came toward

  He placed it to my throat

  And drawing to create

  A new passage—

  Blood

  As I looked at him

  I thought

  In anguish

  "Merely a movement

  A mere move of his arm

  To send away

  From this body

  Forever—

  A mere merely

  For forever

  A mere merely

  To destroy

  A total world"

  And so,

  So quick

  There it was—

  The end

  How should I have felt

  So close

  To my goal?

  How unfeeling

  My shaded end

  To end

  And begin over again

  "Time has turned

  My wheel of life"

  I thought

  In the moment

  Before death

  "And I have traveled

  Many roads—

  All leading

  To the same goal,

  Bringing me closer

  But now

  It will end—

  A slip backward,

  A delay

  In progress

  Only to begin again"

  I waited

  For the final pull

  The slicing

  Of my throat

  The gushing

  Of blood

  And the feeling

  Of horror

&nbs
p; The moment before death

  I followed his eyes

  As he began

  To draw the blade—

  But he was no longer

  Looking at me

  Instead

  He was gazing

  Behind

  And

  His smile downed

  To a wrinkling frown

  And stepping back

  Carefully

  With

  Withdrawing the blade

  Concerning

  He stared behind me

  Backing further,

  Back to his people

  They all stared

  Still I waited,

  The dance

  The knife

  The end

  My body waited

  The eternal wait

  The dead weight

  My soul would be free

  Together

  They huddled closer

  The leader

  Thrusting forth his spear

  As if

  A protecting threat

  "Finish your ceremony"

  I said

  I waited—

  Nothing happened,

  Truly

  A strange ceremony

  I was feeling faint

  The blood continued

  From the rend

  In my side

  Still

  They stared

  Watching perhaps

  Until death came

  From bleeding

  It was at that time,

  As the strange people

  Backed further

  Over the barren maze,

  As blood

  Wound its way

  From the wound

  Down my side—

  My leg

  Dripping to the ground,

  As the moisture

  Rose

  From the red stains

  In waves of heat,

  Through sweat bleary eyes—

  I saw her—

  The white white silk

  Always cool

  As she stepped beside

  The lady of the fringe

  "Such deathly timing

  Why have you come?"

  The leader

  Protecting threatening

  Protecting his people

  Thrust his spear

  Up and down

  Up and down

  Backing away

  "Lady of deathly timing

  Run away

  Run for life

  Or get behind

  Before he throws his spear"

  Up and down

  Up and down

  So cool

  Unheeding

  She raised her hands

  To the cloudless sky

  Bright blue

  Peaceful

  Over endless paths

  Her fingers reached out

  Pleading

  "Plead you God?

  Run away instead

  And save your life"

  She ignored

  Unhearing

  Looking to the sky

  She spoke

  And thunder answered

  Roaring

  And lightening shattered the mirrored day

  Frightened faces

  Looked to the sky—

  Spears were dropped

  Children were grabbed,

  The huddled people scattered

  Running in all directions away

  Further and further

  Merely specks

  On the edge of the horizon

  Falling hands

  Thunder and lightening ceased

  Reaching

  Touching my hands

  Untying my bonds

  She put an arm around my waist,

  A hand upon my wound

  And from her eye

  A smiling eye

  Flowed a subtle tear—

  A lone tear

  To keep moist the heart

  I was happy to see her

  But I knew

  That death was with me;

  I wanted not

  To lean too heavily

  Upon her;

  I staggered forward

  A step

  And slumped to the ground

  Darkness fell heavy

  Upon my world